Riding in Autos with Autowalas

I dread it every day.In fact I  walk down the stairs of my apartment every morning with a laden heart and heavy steps.

As soon as I am out the hunt begins.Well lets not talk about the hunt(That is material for some other post , some other day).What I do want to talk about is the ride.Thank God for the technology other wise I would not have been able to write this one on paper what with my hands still shaky and trembling.

What a ride it was.The moment I stepped into the auto, I realized this one was for thrills.

Before I was barely seated in the auto our man had stepped on the accelerator.As far as he was concerned the race had begun.As I sat there muttering something about auto's having seat belts, I realized we were on the main road (newly built road).For our man this was black ice.

Now the self proclaimed expert that I am in behavioral analysis,I have realized that in such situations it is best not to let your emotions show.If you scream and rant about how fast the beast is driving ,you just fall into the trap.That is the part he enjoys more than the crazy driving.After every crazy turn,scary overtake and signal jump he looks in the rear view to see if it has had it's effect(Or maybe just to check if I was still in there and had not tumbled out in one of his acts)

So as I sat there poker faced holding on tight and trying very hard not cringe every time I thought he killed somebody.I felt what most people must feel when they see a gun before their eyes.

My whole life flashed before me.I wished I had lived a more fuller life.I frowned at myself for not hugging my husband  in the morning.I wished I had finished the last few pages of the book I was reading(Now I will never know what happens in the end :( ). I began wondering about "who will cry If I die".As I was coming up with this list with tears in my eyes, the auto screeched to a halt.As I let go of my grip,opened my eyes and peeped out shakily to check who had died(Thanking god that it was not my day),I realized much to my relief that we had reached our destination.Or rather I had reached mine while he sped away to another journey.

As I stepped into my office, I felt this vague sense of renewal.It was as if I had seen the white light and managed to cheat it(Yeah this was my death defying moment).I vowed to not let this happen to me again.That the next time I am on this ride I will have no regrets,that I will live my life to the fullest and will live in the moment...but then that day could be tomorrow..Just another day with just another auto wala...

Why women powder their noses so often -

Prologue :

Now before we begin let me clarify that I hate going to the restroom.So much so that I am often accused by mother of not drinking enough water just to avoid going to the loo.....

Chapter 1,2,3...

The IT boom along with so many other things brought about the culture of ornamental public restrooms..
On my first day on the job the thing that struck me most was the huge ,deluxe restroom.My eyes lit up when I saw the electric hand dryer and since it had been days since I had seen myself in a full blown mirror,I just stood there amazed...

Chapter 4,5,6...

As days progressed and I became a frequent visitor to the restroom(more than my mother could imagine ),I became party to all the goings ons in the restroom (besides the obvious(and no i wasn't party to that)).Now to come to our main point of analysis as to why women frequent the restroom (and why they go there in groups).Well let's just say that the powder room is the only place where women can let their hair down(literally).It is this cozy comfortable place where you can escape those prowling eyes(yeah we know when we are being stared at)..It's like you are under constant scrutiny which puts us on our guard all the time.So restroom is the only place where you can roll your eyes as much as you want,play with your hair,giggle and do all girly things without having to bother about who is noticing you (or whether you are giving anyone any wrong signals).It's like being in a girls hostel all over again.It is THE place where women bond.. They talk about boyfriends/husbands,mother's in law,crushes,roommates,movies,fashion,makeup...It's like the chai ki bandi for guys,where they can swear all they want to and talk about women (yeah we know you don't talk about sports ).

The End :

Unlike what men think we girls have a lot of fun by ourselves(If we are left alone every once in a while) and we need a lot of female bonding and loving.That is what keeps us going..
So now you know why we go to powder our noses so often..why we need a breather every once in a while..a breather from all the hysteria that surrounds us ..
So if you hear a lot of giggles when you cross the ladies restroom please don't pry and don't ask us what goes on inside and why we go there so often..For once just let us be..


P.S We do "Powder our noses in there" ..but then it is just a pretext    ..

I am following sex and the city these days..
Every time I watch the show I can't help but miss my girlfriends.Five years of living in girls hostels and PG's has gotten me addicted to female companionship.
Now don't get me wrong here ,my husband is my best friend but nothing compares to the fun you have with your girl friends.

For the uninitiated here's a list of Ten fun things you cannot do with your guy friend -

1) Giggle over silly things(It's fun to be silly.You may not like Aishwarya Rai or Preity Zinta for their gigliness but then it's fun to let your hair down and be plain silly at times)

2) Talk in code language(All I have to say is men are dumb .. The aakho hi aakho mai ishara ho gaya thing just doesn't work with them)

3) Go window shopping (I am sure you saw this one coming.Wha good is to for shopping only if you have to buy stuff.You should be able to plan what you are going to buy next(No wonder they say men are not good at planning)  )

4) Listen to romantic songs ( Yeah as far as I am concerned heavy metal is not cool !! )

5) Discuss clothes (Clothes from movies,TV serials,the latest window display at your favourite store......)

7) Talk about hair fall (Or just your hair in general.I know more and more men are getting obsessed with their hair but guys you are not just there yet )

8) Talk while you cook (Yeah this is mainly because men can't multitask.So if they are cooking they can't talk (duh) )

9) Chat for hours on the phone(Guys grow out of it at some point i think )

10 ) Gossip (Now I know men love to gossip too .. But it's not as much fun )

Three characters I can't stand at work

1) Mr Loud - I am sure you all have this guy in office who thumps a few backs when he walks in.Lots of Wassups on the way...
Now I may not necessarily be working on a Rocket Science project but I like my peace.All this open cubicle culture doesn't help my cause but I wouldn't mind it so much if it were not for Mr Loud.
Now most of these people are a big hit with the rest of the group but I like people who know they are not in College anymore.I would like to believe that they are attention seekers.They have some seemingly interesting story to tell you everyday.You have to of course pretend to like it and look gracious (For making your work life so happening )There is no escaping Mr Loud.He's cracking silly jokes just when you are about to make a serious point in the meeting.He thinks he should not even spare the client.He is unabashed by your "I don't believe this guy look"(He probably thinks you are boring).Your boss ofcourse introduces him as the clown of the project.Now don't get me wrong here.I have nothing against humour.Infact I have been blessed with a decent sense of humour myself.I know when to dish them out though.The British may be uptight and the Americans very cool but do we Indians have to be silly ?

2) Beauty Queens - Now I know I am going against my own here but man have I suffered at the hands of these beauty queens.I had a TL who used to start her day by telling me about her shopping escapades.She would then want me to join her in the restroom.Were I watched her tirelessly redo her makeup.A few layers or two later I would be patiently waiting for her o bring up work.
Gone are the days when Women would knit sweaters in office.But they have been replaced by women who do makeup in office (rest-room for those who are a stickler for details) , who go to the beauty parlor between breaks , who are dressed to kill when they come to office (A lot of hard work goes into maintaining the look throughout the day).They usually hang in groups.Scores of them around.They give you that look every morning and some are bold enough to tell you that it wouldn't hurt to be more fashionable.I think I am pretty hep but office is the last place I would dress up for.
I am sure you will argue that guys talk about cricket and shares all the time in office.But it doesn't consume them.When do we break free?


3) I am here for the free phone - If you are a faithful reader of this blog you would know that I am addicted to my phone.I do call people from work , in between breaks.I make sure I don't punish my neighbor.My neighbor ofcourse may not necessarily be that kind.I have had people sitting around me who are in LOOOve.They have to be talking to their sweetheart all day.So if you have to go to them with any work related issues you have to feel guilty about disturbing the love birds.As you approach ,the person on line is put on hold.So you know you don't have 100 % attention to begin with.There is this urgency to get back to the call which you callously walked in on.Secondly you suddenly realize the other person is listening in (Talk about data security breaches ).So you quickly walk away resolving to write a mail instead next time.What is even more irritating is , if you have to listen to these conversations.From good morning sweetheart till I am starting off soon honey(Lot of ILU's in between) .I have been in lOOOve but never done that .I resorted to sms.More private I now realize.Such people though have a lot of support.Young people in love sooo sweet.Makes my blood boil for sure!!


If you are in IT ,you will be familiar with these characters and hopefully sympathize with me.(Assuming you are not one of them)

Call Me

The other day my phone conked off and I spent an entire day without it.I have to say it was quite a revelation.I remember telling my husband that I felt helpless without my phone(For one I had to wear a watch ).
Now if you are getting any ideas about this being about how dependent we are on technology and all ,well It is.
Like I said not being without my phone was an eye opener.It made me realize how much time I spent using my phone.
To begin with I set my alarm on my phone everyday.So If I have an important early morning meeting or a thing to do my night is spent in checking the time on my phone (being the nervous wreck that I am ).I usually keep it under my pillow(In fact I may have started using a pillow only since I started using a cellphone).If god forbid my husband (who likes to play games on my phone) moves it somewhere else ,I have a bad morning.Cause the first thing I like to see in the morning is my phone (Yeah so much for romance in life ).
Later during the day I call people on my way to work,between breaks,on my way back home,once I am back home( I am sure you get the point)...
I am a busy girl though.I spend 10 hours at work and another 2 hours traveling (Much to my dismay) but the truth is that the moment I have free time I think about who all I have to call.
Now you may be wondering that this is a little over the top but I pride myself about being the kind of person who keeps in touch with everyone,how I always call people and how active I am on my social circuit.I do know a lot of people who are like that.
Come to think of it people who call me often are high on my friend meter.Because if you call more you care more.So I have these lists in my head which keep a track of who all called me and who all I need to call.So much so that these lists consume me.
So you see I have fallen into that trap.Surprisingly so considering I belong to the generation which has seen that best of both the worlds.We have enjoyed the walkman as much as the IPOD.But I cannot rest in peace till my husband sends me a message saying he has reached safely everyday. It took ages for me to get him to do so though cause unlike me he is not " hooked " yet(sigh).I have ensured (don't ask me how ) that he calls me between breaks,before he goes in for a meeting,before he starts off from office,in the middle of traffic on his way home if he is getting late and so on(Yeah yeah yeah I know what you are thinking ).This just makes my life simpler.Rather this is using technology to it's fullest.
I remember giving missed calls to my friends in the hostel while studying for the exam at night.(Now you can poke them on facebook).That was a lot of fun.How my roomie used to tell me to give her a missed call if I needed her to get vegetables on her way back home.Come to think of it we had this whole missed call code.One meaning this and two meaning that.I used to give a missed call home if I wanted my folks to call me.(I still do that)
I wonder though how we will survive without this object which has taken over our lives.
Imagine if you were supposed to go over to a friends place and instead ended up having guests at your own ,how would you let the friend who is expecting you know.How could you survive if you were not able to call to say that you couldn't make it today,that you were running late,that you were not coming to office today,to wish happy birthday or so many things..
I am not sure we would be just fine because I think something has changed ,something that cannot be undone.
When in the hostel we once saw this balloon guy walking past.All of us rushed downstairs but much to our disappointment he was not within earshot by the time we got there.
Very innocently my room mate said arrey balloon wale ko missed call dena.

I think this is close to some kind of evolution.. How do you undo this..Do we even want to ? Well if you have an answer to that CALL me.

I once attended a business etiquette class where I was told that it is proper to say hi to people in the corridor in office and smile at them (Right after this gyan you are told how great the Americans are and how good they are at their hi's and hello's ). As far as I am concerned I don't mind the hi or the smile.Doesn't really come naturally to me I have to say but then most things don't and it's not too much of an effort.
What I can't do though is stretch beyond the hi.You know how it starts.You say hi and the other person says "hi how are you doing?" . Like the robot in one of those terminator movies I find myself saying "I am doing good (How cool does that sound) how are you ?" . It's stylish to say good good when the question comes back to you they tell me.Now all this is just fine you would say,mere pleasantries.But I would really like it if one avoided these.You know like the smile should imply everything - I am doing good (Like I would tell YOU if I were doing crappy ) I am sure you are doing good too(If you are not I really don' care).I think life would be much simpler then.Cause how are you may lead to How was your weekend or what are you doing this weekend.I know there are people out there whose social lives are defined by these chance conversations with almost strangers.They probably head out to the coffee area practicing those lines(One of those people invented Wazzup I am sure).But me no I know I have told everyone I cared to what I did for the weekend.No I don't like to share my private life with everyone and anyone.and No this does not classify as small talk.This is like ab bachke kaha jaogey and the questions just keep coming.It's like you are obligated to talk.To tell them how your life is going or why you look so dull or from where you bought that new dress from and what you think about Arushi's murder.
Since I have an acute dislike for people who do this to you ( By now it is just stating the obvious I guess ), I have a knack of spotting them right on.I lurk in the corridor till I know I am out of danger before I can get into the coffee room.I know there are people who thrive on these conversations.People who can talk to people in trains,buses,planes(Not too many people traveling in ships I must to say). Now don't get me wrong here.I am not saying there is anything wrong with these people or you if you are one of them but me I would like to hide behind a book in the bus,train or plane.
You must be wondering where I am getting to with all this.Nowhere really.I just wrote this while I was waiting for "one of those " to leave the coffee room.

hmmm...

According to Romanian grammer hmmm - is said when thinking .. In the era of internet lingo where conversations are becoming shorter everyday , hmmm has taken over( rather hm ).. Often I am having this animated chat with a friend and I say something really thought provoking and all I get is hmm .. I am not sure most people here know what it means .. you ask them if they like a particular song and they go hmmmmm.... does that mean you are thinking !! you tell them you saw this really cool movie and they say hmmmm.. whatever happened to yes ,no ,ok .... Those are not big words ..you don't have to rack ur brain for those .. It's not like u r groping for words here ..I don't understand the obsession with hmmm .. I want to pull my hair out everytime someone says that.. I am thinking are you bored already !! people ask you what you did on the weekend and you give them a detailed version of all that you did ,where all you went ,you bitch about this and that and in the end all you get is a hmmm .. You feel like you are talking to yourself .. anyways hmmmmm to you toooo