Call Me

The other day my phone conked off and I spent an entire day without it.I have to say it was quite a revelation.I remember telling my husband that I felt helpless without my phone(For one I had to wear a watch ).
Now if you are getting any ideas about this being about how dependent we are on technology and all ,well It is.
Like I said not being without my phone was an eye opener.It made me realize how much time I spent using my phone.
To begin with I set my alarm on my phone everyday.So If I have an important early morning meeting or a thing to do my night is spent in checking the time on my phone (being the nervous wreck that I am ).I usually keep it under my pillow(In fact I may have started using a pillow only since I started using a cellphone).If god forbid my husband (who likes to play games on my phone) moves it somewhere else ,I have a bad morning.Cause the first thing I like to see in the morning is my phone (Yeah so much for romance in life ).
Later during the day I call people on my way to work,between breaks,on my way back home,once I am back home( I am sure you get the point)...
I am a busy girl though.I spend 10 hours at work and another 2 hours traveling (Much to my dismay) but the truth is that the moment I have free time I think about who all I have to call.
Now you may be wondering that this is a little over the top but I pride myself about being the kind of person who keeps in touch with everyone,how I always call people and how active I am on my social circuit.I do know a lot of people who are like that.
Come to think of it people who call me often are high on my friend meter.Because if you call more you care more.So I have these lists in my head which keep a track of who all called me and who all I need to call.So much so that these lists consume me.
So you see I have fallen into that trap.Surprisingly so considering I belong to the generation which has seen that best of both the worlds.We have enjoyed the walkman as much as the IPOD.But I cannot rest in peace till my husband sends me a message saying he has reached safely everyday. It took ages for me to get him to do so though cause unlike me he is not " hooked " yet(sigh).I have ensured (don't ask me how ) that he calls me between breaks,before he goes in for a meeting,before he starts off from office,in the middle of traffic on his way home if he is getting late and so on(Yeah yeah yeah I know what you are thinking ).This just makes my life simpler.Rather this is using technology to it's fullest.
I remember giving missed calls to my friends in the hostel while studying for the exam at night.(Now you can poke them on facebook).That was a lot of fun.How my roomie used to tell me to give her a missed call if I needed her to get vegetables on her way back home.Come to think of it we had this whole missed call code.One meaning this and two meaning that.I used to give a missed call home if I wanted my folks to call me.(I still do that)
I wonder though how we will survive without this object which has taken over our lives.
Imagine if you were supposed to go over to a friends place and instead ended up having guests at your own ,how would you let the friend who is expecting you know.How could you survive if you were not able to call to say that you couldn't make it today,that you were running late,that you were not coming to office today,to wish happy birthday or so many things..
I am not sure we would be just fine because I think something has changed ,something that cannot be undone.
When in the hostel we once saw this balloon guy walking past.All of us rushed downstairs but much to our disappointment he was not within earshot by the time we got there.
Very innocently my room mate said arrey balloon wale ko missed call dena.

I think this is close to some kind of evolution.. How do you undo this..Do we even want to ? Well if you have an answer to that CALL me.

I once attended a business etiquette class where I was told that it is proper to say hi to people in the corridor in office and smile at them (Right after this gyan you are told how great the Americans are and how good they are at their hi's and hello's ). As far as I am concerned I don't mind the hi or the smile.Doesn't really come naturally to me I have to say but then most things don't and it's not too much of an effort.
What I can't do though is stretch beyond the hi.You know how it starts.You say hi and the other person says "hi how are you doing?" . Like the robot in one of those terminator movies I find myself saying "I am doing good (How cool does that sound) how are you ?" . It's stylish to say good good when the question comes back to you they tell me.Now all this is just fine you would say,mere pleasantries.But I would really like it if one avoided these.You know like the smile should imply everything - I am doing good (Like I would tell YOU if I were doing crappy ) I am sure you are doing good too(If you are not I really don' care).I think life would be much simpler then.Cause how are you may lead to How was your weekend or what are you doing this weekend.I know there are people out there whose social lives are defined by these chance conversations with almost strangers.They probably head out to the coffee area practicing those lines(One of those people invented Wazzup I am sure).But me no I know I have told everyone I cared to what I did for the weekend.No I don't like to share my private life with everyone and anyone.and No this does not classify as small talk.This is like ab bachke kaha jaogey and the questions just keep coming.It's like you are obligated to talk.To tell them how your life is going or why you look so dull or from where you bought that new dress from and what you think about Arushi's murder.
Since I have an acute dislike for people who do this to you ( By now it is just stating the obvious I guess ), I have a knack of spotting them right on.I lurk in the corridor till I know I am out of danger before I can get into the coffee room.I know there are people who thrive on these conversations.People who can talk to people in trains,buses,planes(Not too many people traveling in ships I must to say). Now don't get me wrong here.I am not saying there is anything wrong with these people or you if you are one of them but me I would like to hide behind a book in the bus,train or plane.
You must be wondering where I am getting to with all this.Nowhere really.I just wrote this while I was waiting for "one of those " to leave the coffee room.

From Babe to Behenji

Looking back I think most of my time in college ( and outside it too ) was spent warding of all the guys who were interested in me. Most of them were a pain in the you know where. It's funny how the guys you really like are never interested in you and the ones you wouldn't even give a second look are smitten by you.
Anyways the point I am trying to get at is that as soon as the word of my marriage got around I was off the hook . I for myself heaved a huge sigh of relief. It was finally goodbye to all the roadside romeos,to all the guys who were friends with me only because they thought they stood a chance .. to all the sideward glances (read ogling ). I was finally free. Committed and free :)
I could now laugh loud at my guy friends jokes without wondering if I am giving them any wrong signals.It was so much easier to ask for a ride back home now.If I saw eveteasers in the bay all I had to do was flash my mangalsutra. Life was suddenly hassle free.
I know for a lot of my girlfriends this transition from babe to behenji isn't easy.It is only human (rather woman) to miss all the attention.It's not easy to sit and hear your guy friends talk about all the hot girls in office(knowing no one else anywhere is talking abou you).
Infact I would be lying if I said I do not miss the attention a little bit myself.Actually I am still subjected to a lot of harmless flirting even today much to my husband's anguish .As much as i like it though I wonder why guys (most of them younger) do it.My guess is for them this is easy practice. Ladies imagine all those guys who stammered and stuttered when they were trying to strike a conversation or say something nice to you in college.Imagine if they had this person who was married ,older and friendly on whom they could practice all the lines.That sure would have made your life a little more interesting.So I guess I am their guinea pig.If I laugh at their joke the girl (or girls) of their dream will laugh too.So all the committed women out there beware .Next time someone walks upto you and says you look good with your hair open , don't let the memories of this piece ruin your moment. Bask in the glory and make sure you tell your husband/boyfriend about it :)

Women's liberation

Everytime we invite people over for dinner the first thing I and my husband do is to sit down and decide the menu.The second thing we do is argue!!
We somehow always disagree on the number of items on the menu . I of course like the menu to be fancy with at least one kind of snack with an elaborate dinner to follow.My husband's insists that we keep it simple.According to him we invite people over to spend time with them and not to show off my culinary skills.He thinks I want to do this to impress my guests.(I think he has seen he twinkle in my eye after one of those highly successful events )
There is a lot of truth in what he says but men don't understand the kind of pressures we are under.For them the most hassle free way out over a situation is to take this view.To pretend that they don't care what the world thinks of them or what they expect from them(The truth is that they are not the ones who get the credit in the end).
Now that is something that I don't agree.I refuse to believe (and know so too) that men are holier than thou( if it was their boss coming home it would be totally different story).But there is some truth to my dear husband's theory .Maybe sometimes we do tend to go over the top(ok most times ).I know every time I go to someone's place for dinner I am thinking "oh she made three curries" ..How do I beat that ? ..They got desert from outside huh ..I always makes deserts at home (This is when I am swelling with pride)". I can' help worrying about when I should invite them next..I start going through the menu mentally.
My husband meanwhile is licking his fingers and going on about how great the food is(This is the point when I want to hit him ).I so wish men could see our point of view.
I think men and women two totally different views of life programmed.Men have the simplistic view.While women have the elaborate complicated diagram with lots of relationships ..lot of intricacies.. All of them intertwined together..
What does this mean though ?.Does this mean we women are smarter(I would like to think so)? Or are we devious,foxy and duplicitious. I wouldn't like to believe so.. I guess we are conditioned to think that way .. We burden ourselves with all the expectations that we assume are set(In most cases by other women) ..and that if we do try we can get rid of them ..Now that is what I would call Women's liberation.