Monday, December 28, 2009

Riding in Autos with Autowalas

I dread it every day.In fact I  walk down the stairs of my apartment every morning with a laden heart and heavy steps.

As soon as I am out the hunt begins.Well lets not talk about the hunt(That is material for some other post , some other day).What I do want to talk about is the ride.Thank God for the technology other wise I would not have been able to write this one on paper what with my hands still shaky and trembling.

What a ride it was.The moment I stepped into the auto, I realized this one was for thrills.

Before I was barely seated in the auto our man had stepped on the accelerator.As far as he was concerned the race had begun.As I sat there muttering something about auto's having seat belts, I realized we were on the main road (newly built road).For our man this was black ice.

Now the self proclaimed expert that I am in behavioral analysis,I have realized that in such situations it is best not to let your emotions show.If you scream and rant about how fast the beast is driving ,you just fall into the trap.That is the part he enjoys more than the crazy driving.After every crazy turn,scary overtake and signal jump he looks in the rear view to see if it has had it's effect(Or maybe just to check if I was still in there and had not tumbled out in one of his acts)

So as I sat there poker faced holding on tight and trying very hard not cringe every time I thought he killed somebody.I felt what most people must feel when they see a gun before their eyes.

My whole life flashed before me.I wished I had lived a more fuller life.I frowned at myself for not hugging my husband  in the morning.I wished I had finished the last few pages of the book I was reading(Now I will never know what happens in the end :( ). I began wondering about "who will cry If I die".As I was coming up with this list with tears in my eyes, the auto screeched to a halt.As I let go of my grip,opened my eyes and peeped out shakily to check who had died(Thanking god that it was not my day),I realized much to my relief that we had reached our destination.Or rather I had reached mine while he sped away to another journey.

As I stepped into my office, I felt this vague sense of renewal.It was as if I had seen the white light and managed to cheat it(Yeah this was my death defying moment).I vowed to not let this happen to me again.That the next time I am on this ride I will have no regrets,that I will live my life to the fullest and will live in the moment...but then that day could be tomorrow..Just another day with just another auto wala...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

How Time Flies

Why is it that when you look back, it seems like time just flashed by...
Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I have been transported here through a time machine or something (Like one of those Stephen King novels)..Because it feels like  only yesterday when I was wondering how life would be today...(Yeah the time machine makes you a little delusional)
Anyway I have this funny feeling that suddenly I will find myself with two kids and a dog and one day(Or maybe just a cat) ,thinking that it was just yesterday when I was wondering what today would have in store...
So as I sit here and ponder over life and wonder how it would be tomorrow , I know that I will be transported to another world soon ..That day it will seem like it was only yesterday when I did not know how today would be like..
It is the feeling you get once your exam results come out..some times they leave you feeling vindicated , sometimes they pull you down..
But then I realize I get another chance(At everything that matters)..This exam I can write again.and again..Till I get it right....
but at the end of it all when I have it  figured out , I will be left thinking ,it was only yesterday that I wondered how today would be like..How time just flashed by ...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

An Elephant never forgets

Mr elephant they say you never forget.. I wonder if you forgive though..Do you carry the baggage without feeling the burden or do you lug it along..I wonder if you ever wish you didn't remember..that you were rather a hampster ,with no memory of who trampled upon you last..I wonder if it is easy for you to let go or you choose to hold on ..

I wonder If one can never forget, how can one ever forgive then ..

Monday, September 14, 2009

Why women powder their noses so often -

Prologue :

Now before we begin let me clarify that I hate going to the restroom.So much so that I am often accused by mother of not drinking enough water just to avoid going to the loo.....

Chapter 1,2,3...

The IT boom along with so many other things brought about the culture of ornamental public restrooms..
On my first day on the job the thing that struck me most was the huge ,deluxe restroom.My eyes lit up when I saw the electric hand dryer and since it had been days since I had seen myself in a full blown mirror,I just stood there amazed...

Chapter 4,5,6...

As days progressed and I became a frequent visitor to the restroom(more than my mother could imagine ),I became party to all the goings ons in the restroom (besides the obvious(and no i wasn't party to that)).Now to come to our main point of analysis as to why women frequent the restroom (and why they go there in groups).Well let's just say that the powder room is the only place where women can let their hair down(literally).It is this cozy comfortable place where you can escape those prowling eyes(yeah we know when we are being stared at)..It's like you are under constant scrutiny which puts us on our guard all the time.So restroom is the only place where you can roll your eyes as much as you want,play with your hair,giggle and do all girly things without having to bother about who is noticing you (or whether you are giving anyone any wrong signals).It's like being in a girls hostel all over again.It is THE place where women bond.. They talk about boyfriends/husbands,mother's in law,crushes,roommates,movies,fashion,makeup...It's like the chai ki bandi for guys,where they can swear all they want to and talk about women (yeah we know you don't talk about sports ).

The End :

Unlike what men think we girls have a lot of fun by ourselves(If we are left alone every once in a while) and we need a lot of female bonding and loving.That is what keeps us going..
So now you know why we go to powder our noses so often..why we need a breather every once in a while..a breather from all the hysteria that surrounds us ..
So if you hear a lot of giggles when you cross the ladies restroom please don't pry and don't ask us what goes on inside and why we go there so often..For once just let us be..

P.S We do "Powder our noses in there" ..but then it is just a pretext    ..

Change is challenging

When I first started working, it took me just a couple of months to realize that life was never going to be the same again(In so many ways).I realized gone were the days when I could watch the sun set over the city,when I could spend lazy afternoons,when I could finish a book overnight,when I could do everything I wanted to.I convinced myself that I had too much on my plate and that propping myself on the bed and watching some mindless show on TV was all that my tired self could.
Once I got married though I realized I could make breakfast,clean house,be productive in office,make dinner,spend quality time with my husband all in one day.
To be frank I don't enjoy it much .I keep complaining about how I take on more than I can handle (Rather more than I should ).But as I am engrossed in self pity I recognize that people around me do so much more.They do part time courses,look after their kids(which is a huge responsibility),Do social work,pursue their hobbies....
I realize how I gave up everything so easily .. how I was convinced I couldn't take on more..
As I rediscover the joy of reading and writing it dawns upon me that we don't challenge ourselves enough.. that we hold back from giving our best..
I think we are the happiest when we give our best and it is important to keep yourself motivated.Change not only motivates you it also sometimes tests you. Sometimes these trials leave you rejuvenated,help you rediscover yourself and make you realize that you can take on MORE

Summer breaks

As I sit in my office on sunny September day, trying hard to concentrate(It being Monday doesn't help),watching the sun bounce off on the tall buildings from my glass window ,I am transported to another era.The era of leisure without guilt...When your life centered around summer holidays...
Oh how I miss my summer breaks..
The good old times when all my time was spent cycling,playing monoply,sketching,reading,
playing sitoliya(seven stones),flying kites and taking long afternoon naps.When the only thing to worry about was whether there would be enough flat stones for sitoliya or which would be the next book to read.
I wonder why  adults don't get summer breaks.The only time we take off from work is when we are visiting family or taking a vacation .These short vacations are always hectic and there's always something to do(visiting places,visiting relatives..).
Oh what would I do to just sit back and relax without having to worry about anything.To read a book all day (hopefully finish it ) listen to my favorite music for hours or to just sleep all day..
I remember on just one such sunny day (a long time ago) ,with a book in my hand and dreams in my eyes I wondered how life in the outside world would be like..
Today when the outside world has engulfed me all I really want to do is go back to that summery day.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The thing about appreciation is ...

I started writing this blog out of my love for writing.It was like my online journal.Since I spend 10 hrs in front of the computer every day, I figured this was the best medium to express myself.
For a long time I did not share the blog with anyone.My only faithful follower was my dear husband.Considering it was young love and all, he appreciated everything I wrote and encouraged me to write more.He also encouraged me to  share the blog with other people(Maybe because he did not want to suffer alone).
With a lot of ado and hesitation ( I am a shy girl),I started sharing my blog with a few close friends and family.I got a positive response and people started appreciating my writing skills and all (mostly my mother).This encouraged me to share it with a wider audience and  thus began my blog promotion phase.
I put up my blog link on my gmail status,on my facebook profile,spread the word around(Being in an IT company helps :) ),sent mails to everyone(After all this i started considering a career in marketing) .....
I learnt to start conversations with "yeah i know! in fact in my blog...." or "I totally agree , If you read my blog..."
I also started reading other blogs and leaving witty comments on posts hoping they would want to know more about me (Check my profile and find my blog link basically).Every fifteen minutes I would check if i had any unmoderated comments..(Ok maybe five)
While I was busy with all this I realized I wasn't writing much.No matter how much I racked my brains (Nothing fell through), I couldn't think of interesting ideas to write about.
As I decided to wait for the idea to come (While I basked in my past glories ), I wondered what all this was about.Why was i writing this blog?It had all started with my love for writing...But the thing about appreciation is that....(it gets to your head)

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I am following sex and the city these days..
Every time I watch the show I can't help but miss my girlfriends.Five years of living in girls hostels and PG's has gotten me addicted to female companionship.
Now don't get me wrong here ,my husband is my best friend but nothing compares to the fun you have with your girl friends.

For the uninitiated here's a list of Ten fun things you cannot do with your guy friend -

1) Giggle over silly things(It's fun to be silly.You may not like Aishwarya Rai or Preity Zinta for their gigliness but then it's fun to let your hair down and be plain silly at times)

2) Talk in code language(All I have to say is men are dumb .. The aakho hi aakho mai ishara ho gaya thing just doesn't work with them)

3) Go window shopping (I am sure you saw this one coming.Wha good is to for shopping only if you have to buy stuff.You should be able to plan what you are going to buy next(No wonder they say men are not good at planning)  )

4) Listen to romantic songs ( Yeah as far as I am concerned heavy metal is not cool !! )

5) Discuss clothes (Clothes from movies,TV serials,the latest window display at your favourite store......)

7) Talk about hair fall (Or just your hair in general.I know more and more men are getting obsessed with their hair but guys you are not just there yet )

8) Talk while you cook (Yeah this is mainly because men can't multitask.So if they are cooking they can't talk (duh) )

9) Chat for hours on the phone(Guys grow out of it at some point i think )

10 ) Gossip (Now I know men love to gossip too .. But it's not as much fun )

A Bygone Era

When I moved out,the thing I missed most was the warmth of life back home.
I missed the comfort of the sofa,the warm cozy bed,the mundaness of daily life.I missed the happy voices,the coming home of my father(The look on my mother's face),the laying of the dinner table,the ring of the doorbell,the chit chat of the neighbours,the friendly doodhwala.I missed buying vegetables from the thelewala,I missed watching my grandmother wait for the postman everyday.I missed the constant ringing of my landline phone and the ever flowing guests(Who were always welcome).I missed the aromas from the kitchen and the easy availability of food all the time.

I made great friends at the PG I was staying in and in our own way we tried to create a home away from home for us.But I always felt a void.I always dreamt of going back to the same life,to the same warmth.

Five years from then and here I am married and running a house of my own...
During weekdays I hardly spend a couple of hours at home during the day.My doorbell only rings to announce the maid in the morning(Rather to jolt me out of bed).
I have this obnoxious green box for a mailbox in the apartment where I drag myself every time I am expecting a mail.I collect the milk packets from the bag I hang in by the door every morning.I buy vegetables from the nearest supermarket (The one with the fastest moving queues) and I have guests only when I invite them(Otherwise people call before they drop by ).I wouldn't recognize my next door neighbours if I crossed them on the street(I am sure they don't know me either).On most days I and my husband come home together.On other days when he gets late I am half dead by the time he gets home.
Sometimes I wonder if that was a different era altogether..Sometimes I regret that those memories seem so distant and are fading away so soon.
I wonder if I can ever recreate the magic in my home.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Rain

If you love the rain you would agree that watching the rain through a glass window is something else..As I sit inside I am mesmerized ..
The world outside seems foggy ,blurred and distant.. You feel alienated sitting  in cozy comfort while the rain soaks everything outside.
You realize that  you are disaffected by so much else that goes on outside your comfort zone.How you are just a tiny drop in the vast ocean.How you are consumed by the pattern the drops form on the window while the world outside gets impregnated.How you prefer to sit and enjoy watching the outpour but don't risk getting drenched.
As these thoughts engulf me I wonder if I should step outside or wait for peace to prevail.
This is a choice I make everyday...

Friday, August 28, 2009

People say Mumbai is vitalizing,stimulating... I agree.
The place were my parents stay is surrounded by high-rise buildings.When you look out the window you see all these places teeming with life.You have a front seat view into a myriad of lives.
I have always been fascinated by the thought of what's going on inside these houses.When I see a teenager flipping through TV channels alone in some drawing room ,it gets me nostalgic.. I wonder if he is hurt in love.. I wonder what he is thinking .. I wonder what's cooking in the kitchen.In fact It captures my imagination.I put dialogues to these distant vague scenes... They become my modern day fairy tales..
I can't help but think if we all want to live in a dream.. Isn't that why we love our movies so much (Especially the ones with happy endings) They help us escape reality..We all become the protagonist.

Come to think of it , after a point of time even our past becomes a fantasy.In hindsight everything looks sunnier. Every time you meet old friends we can't stop talking about the good old days.
Why is that in retrospect the grass looks greener on our side whereas the present is always uninspiring ?

Can reality be never gratifying ? Or does fantasizing make reality endurable?
I think in today's busy world it is too much to stop and appreciate what you have.
We may have learnt to wake up and smell the coffee but we also have to start enjoying it .

Monday, August 24, 2009

The agony of a modern Indian woman

I did not become a career woman by choice.The way I see it ,there was no choice.It was never an option.I knew I had to do it.
I think it was my mother who instilled that in me.Growing up I did what everyone else does.I appeared for engineering entrance exams after I finished school.When that didn't work out I looked at other options.IT was big then and that is where I wanted to be.Everyone else was on the same path and I was no maverick.
While I was finishing my grueling final term in college, I got placed in a reputed IT firm.
So working for an IT firm was just the natural progression after a post graduate in Computer Science.So I don't think I ever had to make the choice of whether or not to work.It was like it was meant to be.
It doesn't really hit you till you get married though.It is like stepping into the real world all over again(This time it is as real as it gets).
As a woman you carry immense baggage.Sometimes without even knowing it.
You want to be the perfect daughter in law,the perfect wife,the perfect daughter.You also want to prove it to everyone in office that marriage changes nothing.You are determined to prove that you are as focused and dedicated as before.Too many balls in the air.
Your ability to multitask is put to test day in and day out.You have to take on so much more.Whereas for the guy nothing really changes(Unless you are the kind of guy who has never bought veggies and groceries).
There is so much talk about how a guy loses his freedom and how he has to listen to everything his wife says (Yeah sure ), but nothing at all about what a woman sacrifices.Nothing about how difficult the juggling act is for her.How it is a struggle everyday to do the balancing act.
Lest you protest or complain ,you are told you have the choice to quit.That if you are not up to the challenge(the one you bestowed upon yourself ),you can surrender.
As a woman you are conditioned to believe that it is your duty to take care of the family.You are brainwashed so much so that you even take pride in it.Handing over the brief case and wallet every morning to your husband when he leaves for office(Preceded with breakfast in bed of course) ,makes a perfect picture.
Here we are in the 21st century with women going for the moon and we still believe that the onus on running the house is on the woman.That if there are sacrifices to be made for the family it is the woman who takes the back step.
If you don't you are accused of being over ambitious,Of putting your needs first,Of being self centered,Of being career oriented.
I have a very supportive husband.He helps me around the house and is never very demanding.
One would say he has come a long way from the men of previous generations.He prides in being the modern man.Someone who is supportive of his wife's career.People around me never miss a chance to ell me how lucky I am to have him
(Almost accusingly).I am expected to be grateful.
This is the point where my agony starts.If we are equal then why do I have to be grateful and why does my husband become supportive if all he is doing is his share of work(Less on most times).
My husband says that a part of the problem lies in trying to be the superwoman.That I should not worry too much about what society thinks,that maybe I should not try to do the balancing act,that I should come out in the open and say that my job is very important to me.That I will not sacrifice anything and that I do not want to be the perfect wife,daughter or daughter in law.
I guess I can take that road but what If I want to have it all.Why cannot we redefine what a perfect wife is,what a perfect daughter in law is or what a perfect homemaker is.
Why won't the society make it easier for me.Ease my burden.End my dilemma.
Isn't it high time that we bend the rules and make room for the modern career woman in our society.
Let the agony end.Let the liberalization begin.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Three characters I can't stand at work

1) Mr Loud - I am sure you all have this guy in office who thumps a few backs when he walks in.Lots of Wassups on the way...
Now I may not necessarily be working on a Rocket Science project but I like my peace.All this open cubicle culture doesn't help my cause but I wouldn't mind it so much if it were not for Mr Loud.
Now most of these people are a big hit with the rest of the group but I like people who know they are not in College anymore.I would like to believe that they are attention seekers.They have some seemingly interesting story to tell you everyday.You have to of course pretend to like it and look gracious (For making your work life so happening )There is no escaping Mr Loud.He's cracking silly jokes just when you are about to make a serious point in the meeting.He thinks he should not even spare the client.He is unabashed by your "I don't believe this guy look"(He probably thinks you are boring).Your boss ofcourse introduces him as the clown of the project.Now don't get me wrong here.I have nothing against humour.Infact I have been blessed with a decent sense of humour myself.I know when to dish them out though.The British may be uptight and the Americans very cool but do we Indians have to be silly ?

2) Beauty Queens - Now I know I am going against my own here but man have I suffered at the hands of these beauty queens.I had a TL who used to start her day by telling me about her shopping escapades.She would then want me to join her in the restroom.Were I watched her tirelessly redo her makeup.A few layers or two later I would be patiently waiting for her o bring up work.
Gone are the days when Women would knit sweaters in office.But they have been replaced by women who do makeup in office (rest-room for those who are a stickler for details) , who go to the beauty parlor between breaks , who are dressed to kill when they come to office (A lot of hard work goes into maintaining the look throughout the day).They usually hang in groups.Scores of them around.They give you that look every morning and some are bold enough to tell you that it wouldn't hurt to be more fashionable.I think I am pretty hep but office is the last place I would dress up for.
I am sure you will argue that guys talk about cricket and shares all the time in office.But it doesn't consume them.When do we break free?

3) I am here for the free phone - If you are a faithful reader of this blog you would know that I am addicted to my phone.I do call people from work , in between breaks.I make sure I don't punish my neighbor.My neighbor ofcourse may not necessarily be that kind.I have had people sitting around me who are in LOOOve.They have to be talking to their sweetheart all day.So if you have to go to them with any work related issues you have to feel guilty about disturbing the love birds.As you approach ,the person on line is put on hold.So you know you don't have 100 % attention to begin with.There is this urgency to get back to the call which you callously walked in on.Secondly you suddenly realize the other person is listening in (Talk about data security breaches ).So you quickly walk away resolving to write a mail instead next time.What is even more irritating is , if you have to listen to these conversations.From good morning sweetheart till I am starting off soon honey(Lot of ILU's in between) .I have been in lOOOve but never done that .I resorted to sms.More private I now realize.Such people though have a lot of support.Young people in love sooo sweet.Makes my blood boil for sure!!

If you are in IT ,you will be familiar with these characters and hopefully sympathize with me.(Assuming you are not one of them)

Sunday, August 9, 2009

To mom on her 50th Birthday

This is a message from a daughter to her Mom on her 50th birthday ..

Today my mom completes 50 years of her life .. I can't think of her being anything but my mother ...what a humongous task it must be .. I guess you start appreciating your mother more after marriage realize what big sacrifices they make for you .. Every time I complain about my husband blissfully watching TV while I toil in the kitchen I realize how my mother did that day in and day out without ever really complaining .. It makes me realize how I have always taken her love,patience and tolerance for granted .. How I was always too busy to appreciate all the small things she did for me ..the very small things which drive me crazy today ..

My mother never had it easy .. As back as I go there were always someone to be taken to the hospital ,someone to be picked from the station ,someone to be served dinner ..When I was growing up I and my uncle were quite a handful and I am sure we did everything to make her life miserable .. I also remember all the laughs we had ..She is someone who doesn't get daunted by difficult situations .. She is one of the strongest women I know and manages to smile through all her troubles .. Today when I am upset because of a bad day in office and I have people coming over for dinner I realize how my mother did all that effortlessly and with a smile on her face ...always selfless and giving ..

I used to hate her for not letting me go out for movies with my friends back in school and roll my eyes every time I got a lecture .. But today I cannot thank her enough for making me the person I am .. for instilling in me to always do the right thing ,for making me fiercely independent and strong ,for equipping me with all the right weapons to face the big bad world ..for forcing me to always see the good in people .. for letting me know that I always have her love and support to fall back on no matter what ...

Dear mom

Today as you complete 50 years of your life l would like to tell you that you are an inspiration for me and that I would consider my life well spent if my children think of me as highly as I think of you .


17 Again

I haven't checked out the latest movie 17 Again yet ,but I believe it is about Mathew Perry being able to get a second chance at high-school gets to set things right.To undo what went wrong.
That got me wondering that if I got another shot at being 17 would I do anything differently ?
Looking back there are a lot of things that I messed up.My career being one of them.I know I could have done much more but then somehow I guess I was destined to do what I am doing today.I believe that there is bigger power at play here.We may think we can shape our destiny but aren't we just going with the flow.I am sure you will all agree that what differentiates success from failure is diligence,perseverance ,focus,passion,good company and will.But what factor decides how hard working we are ? Why are some people more focused than others ? Why does success come seemingly easy to some people while it keeps eluding some.Why is it that today I am as hard working as I can be but yesterday was another story?
Sometimes isn't the journey more important than the destination.Isn't this path chosen.Was I no meant to learn from my failures.Aren't we here just to be better people.Whether we are successful or not in the process is just secondary.So I guess No there is nothing I would have done differently.This was meant to be.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I don't remember when I got hooked on to friends.What I do remember though is my mom not being amused about my new found addiction.She didn't like what she heard between the lines :) Must have been about ten years ago.Probably the time around which they started airing it in India.I was hooked before I knew.Even today nothing cheers me up like friends.I have watched all episodes atleast four times and they still make me laugh,cry,sigh,dream...
Now this post is strictly for Friends lovers(Reader Discretion is advised).Infact this post of mine is dedicated to F.R.I.E.N.D.S.Here are a few things that I love about the sitcom -
---I love Chandler's jokes . I mean if he were real he would have been the wittiest person I would have known.
---I love Rachel's style.I mean I love all her clothes.Hers would be my ideal wardrobe.In the first two three seasons she looks absolutely stunning.
--- I think there is a bit of Monika in me.I may not be the control freak(Or maybe I am ) but I can relate to her.Like her I know I am high maintenance and not easy going :) But like Chandler says the best way to look at it is to say that she is passionate :)
--- Of all the characters Phoebe is my least favourite.I think she is a bit over the top but I think she adds some punch to the show.Some of the things she does is unreal.I absolutely loved this show where she has this argument with Ross over evolution. I kinda had a similar discussion with friends and it was really funny.
--- I love the comfort level all friends share with each other.Their onscreen chemistry is amazing.In most scenes involving all the principal characters , if only two of them are having a conversation, the rest of them are seen listening in or doing their own thing or just chatting amongst themselves.I think it is as real as it can get.You start believing it ..You start living it . I mean I used to imagine episodes on my own and in real life scenarios keep wondering how the "Friends" would have dealt with it.(This is where you star thinking I am little wonky in the head :) )
---I love how they are so open about their relationship with each other.It's like unconditional love.I could tell you anything and you won't hold it against me.
---I like the fact that Monika who brings in so much competition in everything is never really jealous.
--- I love the fact that there is no competition when it comes to spending time with each other.As in Joey likes to spend as much time with Ross as Chandler.I know they do have biases but then that doesn't affect anything.Each of them is comfortable about the relationship he or she shares with the other person.
---How they are all on each others priority list.How many of us do that.Don't we think of friends only when there is nothing to do or when we are sad and lonely.Most of them are need based relationships.Our friends are not our lives.They used to be when we were in college,in hostels,in Pg's but then you are just supposed to move on with life right.Our lives don't revolve around ou friends anymore.Wouldn't life be better if it did.If you had this support circle.We all need love but are so unwilling to give it.
So all you mommies who are reluctant to let their teenage kids watch friends , please note that it is more than cheeky jokes and adult content.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Call Me

The other day my phone conked off and I spent an entire day without it.I have to say it was quite a revelation.I remember telling my husband that I felt helpless without my phone(For one I had to wear a watch ).
Now if you are getting any ideas about this being about how dependent we are on technology and all ,well It is.
Like I said not being without my phone was an eye opener.It made me realize how much time I spent using my phone.
To begin with I set my alarm on my phone everyday.So If I have an important early morning meeting or a thing to do my night is spent in checking the time on my phone (being the nervous wreck that I am ).I usually keep it under my pillow(In fact I may have started using a pillow only since I started using a cellphone).If god forbid my husband (who likes to play games on my phone) moves it somewhere else ,I have a bad morning.Cause the first thing I like to see in the morning is my phone (Yeah so much for romance in life ).
Later during the day I call people on my way to work,between breaks,on my way back home,once I am back home( I am sure you get the point)...
I am a busy girl though.I spend 10 hours at work and another 2 hours traveling (Much to my dismay) but the truth is that the moment I have free time I think about who all I have to call.
Now you may be wondering that this is a little over the top but I pride myself about being the kind of person who keeps in touch with everyone,how I always call people and how active I am on my social circuit.I do know a lot of people who are like that.
Come to think of it people who call me often are high on my friend meter.Because if you call more you care more.So I have these lists in my head which keep a track of who all called me and who all I need to call.So much so that these lists consume me.
So you see I have fallen into that trap.Surprisingly so considering I belong to the generation which has seen that best of both the worlds.We have enjoyed the walkman as much as the IPOD.But I cannot rest in peace till my husband sends me a message saying he has reached safely everyday. It took ages for me to get him to do so though cause unlike me he is not " hooked " yet(sigh).I have ensured (don't ask me how ) that he calls me between breaks,before he goes in for a meeting,before he starts off from office,in the middle of traffic on his way home if he is getting late and so on(Yeah yeah yeah I know what you are thinking ).This just makes my life simpler.Rather this is using technology to it's fullest.
I remember giving missed calls to my friends in the hostel while studying for the exam at night.(Now you can poke them on facebook).That was a lot of fun.How my roomie used to tell me to give her a missed call if I needed her to get vegetables on her way back home.Come to think of it we had this whole missed call code.One meaning this and two meaning that.I used to give a missed call home if I wanted my folks to call me.(I still do that)
I wonder though how we will survive without this object which has taken over our lives.
Imagine if you were supposed to go over to a friends place and instead ended up having guests at your own ,how would you let the friend who is expecting you know.How could you survive if you were not able to call to say that you couldn't make it today,that you were running late,that you were not coming to office today,to wish happy birthday or so many things..
I am not sure we would be just fine because I think something has changed ,something that cannot be undone.
When in the hostel we once saw this balloon guy walking past.All of us rushed downstairs but much to our disappointment he was not within earshot by the time we got there.
Very innocently my room mate said arrey balloon wale ko missed call dena.

I think this is close to some kind of evolution.. How do you undo this..Do we even want to ? Well if you have an answer to that CALL me.

Monday, July 27, 2009

I once attended a business etiquette class where I was told that it is proper to say hi to people in the corridor in office and smile at them (Right after this gyan you are told how great the Americans are and how good they are at their hi's and hello's ). As far as I am concerned I don't mind the hi or the smile.Doesn't really come naturally to me I have to say but then most things don't and it's not too much of an effort.
What I can't do though is stretch beyond the hi.You know how it starts.You say hi and the other person says "hi how are you doing?" . Like the robot in one of those terminator movies I find myself saying "I am doing good (How cool does that sound) how are you ?" . It's stylish to say good good when the question comes back to you they tell me.Now all this is just fine you would say,mere pleasantries.But I would really like it if one avoided these.You know like the smile should imply everything - I am doing good (Like I would tell YOU if I were doing crappy ) I am sure you are doing good too(If you are not I really don' care).I think life would be much simpler then.Cause how are you may lead to How was your weekend or what are you doing this weekend.I know there are people out there whose social lives are defined by these chance conversations with almost strangers.They probably head out to the coffee area practicing those lines(One of those people invented Wazzup I am sure).But me no I know I have told everyone I cared to what I did for the weekend.No I don't like to share my private life with everyone and anyone.and No this does not classify as small talk.This is like ab bachke kaha jaogey and the questions just keep coming.It's like you are obligated to talk.To tell them how your life is going or why you look so dull or from where you bought that new dress from and what you think about Arushi's murder.
Since I have an acute dislike for people who do this to you ( By now it is just stating the obvious I guess ), I have a knack of spotting them right on.I lurk in the corridor till I know I am out of danger before I can get into the coffee room.I know there are people who thrive on these conversations.People who can talk to people in trains,buses,planes(Not too many people traveling in ships I must to say). Now don't get me wrong here.I am not saying there is anything wrong with these people or you if you are one of them but me I would like to hide behind a book in the bus,train or plane.
You must be wondering where I am getting to with all this.Nowhere really.I just wrote this while I was waiting for "one of those " to leave the coffee room.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

From Babe to Behenji

Looking back I think most of my time in college ( and outside it too ) was spent warding of all the guys who were interested in me. Most of them were a pain in the you know where. It's funny how the guys you really like are never interested in you and the ones you wouldn't even give a second look are smitten by you.
Anyways the point I am trying to get at is that as soon as the word of my marriage got around I was off the hook . I for myself heaved a huge sigh of relief. It was finally goodbye to all the roadside romeos,to all the guys who were friends with me only because they thought they stood a chance .. to all the sideward glances (read ogling ). I was finally free. Committed and free :)
I could now laugh loud at my guy friends jokes without wondering if I am giving them any wrong signals.It was so much easier to ask for a ride back home now.If I saw eveteasers in the bay all I had to do was flash my mangalsutra. Life was suddenly hassle free.
I know for a lot of my girlfriends this transition from babe to behenji isn't easy.It is only human (rather woman) to miss all the attention.It's not easy to sit and hear your guy friends talk about all the hot girls in office(knowing no one else anywhere is talking abou you).
Infact I would be lying if I said I do not miss the attention a little bit myself.Actually I am still subjected to a lot of harmless flirting even today much to my husband's anguish .As much as i like it though I wonder why guys (most of them younger) do it.My guess is for them this is easy practice. Ladies imagine all those guys who stammered and stuttered when they were trying to strike a conversation or say something nice to you in college.Imagine if they had this person who was married ,older and friendly on whom they could practice all the lines.That sure would have made your life a little more interesting.So I guess I am their guinea pig.If I laugh at their joke the girl (or girls) of their dream will laugh too.So all the committed women out there beware .Next time someone walks upto you and says you look good with your hair open , don't let the memories of this piece ruin your moment. Bask in the glory and make sure you tell your husband/boyfriend about it :)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Women's liberation

Everytime we invite people over for dinner the first thing I and my husband do is to sit down and decide the menu.The second thing we do is argue!!
We somehow always disagree on the number of items on the menu . I of course like the menu to be fancy with at least one kind of snack with an elaborate dinner to follow.My husband's insists that we keep it simple.According to him we invite people over to spend time with them and not to show off my culinary skills.He thinks I want to do this to impress my guests.(I think he has seen he twinkle in my eye after one of those highly successful events )
There is a lot of truth in what he says but men don't understand the kind of pressures we are under.For them the most hassle free way out over a situation is to take this view.To pretend that they don't care what the world thinks of them or what they expect from them(The truth is that they are not the ones who get the credit in the end).
Now that is something that I don't agree.I refuse to believe (and know so too) that men are holier than thou( if it was their boss coming home it would be totally different story).But there is some truth to my dear husband's theory .Maybe sometimes we do tend to go over the top(ok most times ).I know every time I go to someone's place for dinner I am thinking "oh she made three curries" ..How do I beat that ? ..They got desert from outside huh ..I always makes deserts at home (This is when I am swelling with pride)". I can' help worrying about when I should invite them next..I start going through the menu mentally.
My husband meanwhile is licking his fingers and going on about how great the food is(This is the point when I want to hit him ).I so wish men could see our point of view.
I think men and women two totally different views of life programmed.Men have the simplistic view.While women have the elaborate complicated diagram with lots of relationships ..lot of intricacies.. All of them intertwined together..
What does this mean though ?.Does this mean we women are smarter(I would like to think so)? Or are we devious,foxy and duplicitious. I wouldn't like to believe so.. I guess we are conditioned to think that way .. We burden ourselves with all the expectations that we assume are set(In most cases by other women) ..and that if we do try we can get rid of them ..Now that is what I would call Women's liberation.