The agony of a modern Indian woman

I did not become a career woman by choice.The way I see it ,there was no choice.It was never an option.I knew I had to do it.
I think it was my mother who instilled that in me.Growing up I did what everyone else does.I appeared for engineering entrance exams after I finished school.When that didn't work out I looked at other options.IT was big then and that is where I wanted to be.Everyone else was on the same path and I was no maverick.
While I was finishing my grueling final term in college, I got placed in a reputed IT firm.
So working for an IT firm was just the natural progression after a post graduate in Computer Science.So I don't think I ever had to make the choice of whether or not to work.It was like it was meant to be.
It doesn't really hit you till you get married though.It is like stepping into the real world all over again(This time it is as real as it gets).
As a woman you carry immense baggage.Sometimes without even knowing it.
You want to be the perfect daughter in law,the perfect wife,the perfect daughter.You also want to prove it to everyone in office that marriage changes nothing.You are determined to prove that you are as focused and dedicated as before.Too many balls in the air.
Your ability to multitask is put to test day in and day out.You have to take on so much more.Whereas for the guy nothing really changes(Unless you are the kind of guy who has never bought veggies and groceries).
There is so much talk about how a guy loses his freedom and how he has to listen to everything his wife says (Yeah sure ), but nothing at all about what a woman sacrifices.Nothing about how difficult the juggling act is for her.How it is a struggle everyday to do the balancing act.
Lest you protest or complain ,you are told you have the choice to quit.That if you are not up to the challenge(the one you bestowed upon yourself ),you can surrender.
As a woman you are conditioned to believe that it is your duty to take care of the family.You are brainwashed so much so that you even take pride in it.Handing over the brief case and wallet every morning to your husband when he leaves for office(Preceded with breakfast in bed of course) ,makes a perfect picture.
Here we are in the 21st century with women going for the moon and we still believe that the onus on running the house is on the woman.That if there are sacrifices to be made for the family it is the woman who takes the back step.
If you don't you are accused of being over ambitious,Of putting your needs first,Of being self centered,Of being career oriented.
I have a very supportive husband.He helps me around the house and is never very demanding.
One would say he has come a long way from the men of previous generations.He prides in being the modern man.Someone who is supportive of his wife's career.People around me never miss a chance to ell me how lucky I am to have him
(Almost accusingly).I am expected to be grateful.
This is the point where my agony starts.If we are equal then why do I have to be grateful and why does my husband become supportive if all he is doing is his share of work(Less on most times).
My husband says that a part of the problem lies in trying to be the superwoman.That I should not worry too much about what society thinks,that maybe I should not try to do the balancing act,that I should come out in the open and say that my job is very important to me.That I will not sacrifice anything and that I do not want to be the perfect wife,daughter or daughter in law.
I guess I can take that road but what If I want to have it all.Why cannot we redefine what a perfect wife is,what a perfect daughter in law is or what a perfect homemaker is.
Why won't the society make it easier for me.Ease my burden.End my dilemma.
Isn't it high time that we bend the rules and make room for the modern career woman in our society.
Let the agony end.Let the liberalization begin.